Gaslighting is a form of abuse through mental manipulation which makes one doubt their own self and feel if they are asking for too much.
Common gaslighting examples:
● “It’s all in your head”
● “You’re making this up”
● “You’re too sensitive”
● “You’re too emotional”
● “You’re making it a big deal unnecessarily”
● “You’re over scrutinising”
● “You need to lose weight”
● “”You need to remove your hair”
● “You make me angry”
● “No one will ever love you like me”
● “You look bad in this – wear something else”
● “If you love me, you should do this”
● “I was just kidding.”
● “Why do you take everything so seriously?”
● “You need help- you are crazy”
● “You are assuming things”
● “You are overreacting”
● “You always have problem with something or the other”
Signs you’re being gaslighted
● Your secrets / tears are used against you
● Their words do not match their actions
● You begin to doubt yourself and wonder if you are the one who is going crazy
● You doubt if you tell the truth no one will believe your story
● You wonder if you’re overreacting
● You feel hurt, lonely, depressed and begin to isolate yourself
● You lose trust on self that you can decide what is good/ bad for you
● Your self worth is no longer in your hands
How to deal when being Gaslighted
Always clearly express:
● I’m entitled to my feelings. You can’t tell me what I am feeling is all in my head just because you lack the ability / concern to understand + fix my discomfort.
● I hear you but that wasn’t how I experienced it. Here’s my truth
● I’m exiting this conversation if you can’t communicate respectfully without blaming or making me look less
● I’m open for solutions not debating my feelings / truth
● Always focus on the truth – don’t get distracted with their blame games
● Journal / record the gaslighting incidents in a safe place
● Avoid arguments or explanations to gaslighters as they will use these against you
● Get professional help if needed
You can also book personalised Counselling sessions with Ilashrei Anand to heal your relationship issues from root cause. We hope you take your well-being on priority.