Someone with Anxious Attachment:
● Has learnt that only if they are ‘worthy’ – ‘successful’ – ‘achiever’ they will be loved by their partner.
● Any failure of their own ‘success’ – ‘worth’ which is mostly their work- makes them insecure of the relationship as they fear being seen as ‘not good enough’ by their partner.
● Their self-worth depends on how their partner sees them – and so will get immensely triggered with any lil form of disrespect by the partner which may or may not be intended directly.
● Will attract partners who are ‘controlling’ ‘demanding’, etc though uncomfortable to them.
● Will be emotionally sensitive and believe Love is everything.
● Constantly worrying if their relationship will last
● Extremely anxious during separation with partner ” i can change anything in me for Love”
● Will break their boundaries to please the partner
● Will be the problem solver from emotional space
Healing Anxious Attachment
● Remind yourself constantly that your work, achievements, your worth in the world doesn’t define how your partner will love you.
● Create a journal of all the good things your partner does for you without you needing to remind them. Even if you have reminded them of something, and they delivered it, put it in your journal. Go through this when you feel anxious, abandoned, doubtful of the relationship.
● When triggered, instead of reacting, learn how to express being validated emotionally. You need this the most because you probably never have been accepted as a child for who you were or had to constantly prove your worth to be loved. This is the deal-breaker of all your relationships.
You can book personalised Relationship Counselling sessions with Ilashrei Anand to heal from the root cause. We hope you take your well-being on priority.