Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is experienced after an event that is extremely traumatic / shocking for someone, even if not for the psychologist / someone else. Not taking this trauma into consideration leads to misdiagnosis of an individual. Some physical impacts of PTSD:
- Hair loss
- Early greying
- Acne attacks
- Weight issues
- Bad PMS
- Fragile nails
- Sensitive skin
- Allergies
- Addictions
- Breathing issues at times / heart palpitations
A female client ‘X’ age 25, when she hit puberty, started showing signs of bipolar and schizophrenia like:
- physical self-harm and abuse
- sudden rush of energy like cycling for hours
- skipping sleep one or more nights in a row
- feeling extremely low
- uninterested in life and not getting up from bed on days together
- struggling to do basic daily activities
- making hasty, risky decisions ,
- self-harming choices even in respect to relationships
- extremely impulsive
- showing way too much love at times then being extremely disrespectful / unavailable other times,
- talking to her childhood friend in imagination
- flood of excessive self-confidence and then sudden negative self-worth
All this was coupled with bouts of anger, crying spells, overdoing things for others, unstable mood-swings.
At age 19, she was diagnosed as Bipolar, and took medication for 3 years without much effect. This led to her second diagnosis by some other specialist, as a Schizophrenic. Though others felt her moods and energy levels are much balanced with meds, she told me “ I don’t feel alive.”
Me (Psychologist) : what do you feel like then, would you like to elaborate?
She: ” I feel like AI. You know AI, it has all the answers, it knows what an Ice-cream is, what is rain, what is a movie, but it cannot enjoy any of it even though it can create all of it for you seemingly, gladly. I feel exactly like that. I am a part of everything around me ( voice breaks in tears) but … …nothing, absolutely nothing is a part of me. I am all alone. I am a nobody. I try to be, but – I went to a comedy show and everyone was laughing, I was laughing as well, but did I feel happy, no. did I enjoy it. no. why did I laugh then? I thought it was funny. But did I feel the fun. No. I don’t know if I’m making sense, but this is exactly how i feel.“
It was not until her 5th session with me, that she spoke about sexual abuse which happened repeatedly from age 7-11 by a cousin and his friends. Due to the sensitivity of readers, I’m skipping details however, its to be noted, it was so excruciatingly traumatic for her that she never even spoke about these with her previous doctors.
Me (Psychologist) : “ when you went for a second diagnosis, did you feel like sharing but stopped yourself.”
She: “ I always wanted to share. I want to share every single day to every person but I can’t. How can I explain that I never raised voice, even once, for 4 years. When I can’t get over that guilt, how can I expect others to understand me.”
Me (Psychologist): “ if this wouldn’t have happened – how do you think your life would have turned differently.”
She : “ oh, everything. For starters, I would have not abused my body. I wouldn’t have gotten angry at my family for little things, the anger was coming from a place of them not protecting me enough and continuously being good to that cousin and his family. I hated that and so I kept cycling for hours to stay away from home as much as possible. And since I could trust nobody, I kept talking to my imaginary friend.”
When someone goes through any intense sexual trauma, few things to note as a Healer are:
- They may not always remember it
- They may not always share it
- They may not always share it exactly as it happened for fear of shame, being judged, etc
- They may feel its unimportant so sharing may not make a difference even if you ask them
- They may lie , etc
But as Healer its our job to see through the pain and find its source instead of diagnosing something which is clearly not working for the patients. The sole purpose to share this is to bring awareness how every emotional, mental, physical issues in anyone can be healed, provided you get the right diagnosis and healing. Its been a year of therapy with her, and she’s a C-PTSD ( complex- PTSD) ;(with early signs of Schizoid ) cause of how she was constantly criticised, not included enough in family, not spoken to for days sometimes due to her behaviour ( resulting from trauma as a coping mechanism) , followed with a Narcissistic boyfriend.
I cannot claim whether her condition worsened with wrong medication of misdiagnosis or not, but there are enough proofs where wrong psychiatric medication has worsened physical and emotional well-being of people to such extents where even following are impacted:
Marriages
Family / relationships
Career
Appetite
Skin
Finances
Sense of reality
Trust issues
Focus
Sleep
Creativity
Decision making
Currently she’s on regular therapy with PTSD medication and finally no longer feels like Artificial Intelligence – AI, but actually able to find meaning, purpose, happiness in life now.
Hope this article helps those who are on psychiatric medication /therapy and yet don’t feel it’s effective. Maybe it’s time you trust your gut and get help that listens to what you have not been able to speak even to yourself.
There’s no tree without a seed. There’s no reaction without action. There’s no suffering without a cause. Find the root. Heal. And support those who need help. Most importantly, Believe in them and be empathetic.Now you can also reserve personalised Yoga Psychology – Root Cause Healing Therapy Sessions with Ilashrei Anand. We hope you take your well-being on priority.